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churchofsterek:

gallifreyslocked:

when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’

everyone lost their shit and i got second place

If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something

(via lesbiangynecologist)

Source: gallifreyslocked
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puppiesarerad:

freddashdog:

Grandpa gets a surprise bulldog puppy for his birthday, something he’s always wanted.

It’s pure happiness for both of them

I’m fucking sobbing.

(via howwolf)

Source: freddashdog
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wellthatdidntgoasplanned:

mewtwo870:

hooligan fruit causing trouble at night

we are the kids our parents warned us about

(via neutral-milk-resort-and-spa)

Source: thejogging
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spookyxleijon:

kevinkinky-:

unclefather:

what does this mean

green eggs and ram

i saw that and shut my laptop and walked away for a solid minute

(via neutral-milk-resort-and-spa)

Source: krishnaa
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unsuccessfulblogger:

if i catch you glancing at me more than twice i will automatically think you like me so please don’t look at me ever

(via lucifersnipple)

Source: unsuccessfulblogger
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cyberfricking:

just sending some important texts!

(via analdelgay666)

Source: cyberfricking
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officialunitedstates:

been carrying around this sack of bees ever since my grandmother told me beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.  to be honest sometimes I wish she had never told me this information

(via lucifersnipple)

Source: officialunitedstates
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dicklover3000:

no i think we should talk about the past

(via officialpizzas)

Source: dicklover3000
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